Does it matter what other people think?

How easy it is to forget what our goals are and let other peoples opinions affect our outcomes. One of the most important questions to ask ourselves is what does success mean to me? It could mean blue ribbons, lots of money and fame. But, often times what looks good from the outside is not as fun on the inside. So what is success really? For each person it is different, and when you find out what it is for you then for sure you will achieve it.

Have you ever won at something but felt empty or hollow after the achievement? There are many times when I have won classes but I did not really like the test or been complimented after a ride when I felt totally disconnected and out of sync with my horse. There have been other times when someone else had better points than I did, but I was completely over the moon because the test had some special quality that I had been working toward. For me, training horses is about connection. When I go to a horse show I want to be able to take a confident horse to the ring that wants to do his job, participates with me and understands what I am asking. If I win the class and I do not have this feeling then, although the success is nice in the public eye, I want to go home and start training again so that the next time I am better able to execute on my goals.

This has taken me a while to figure out, and not only that, but it has taken me this long to figure out that finding my version of success can work for winning too. By finding fulfillment in my daily practices and taking that to the show ring makes me a better competitor. By trying to make the judges or other people happy does not make me good at what I do.

What makes me feel successful may be different then what makes you feel like a winner. But, I challenge you to think about it and then implement this into your daily practices. It is easy to stand up straight in your own shoes when you know what your end goal is. We will all miss the mark sometimes, but it is knowing what the goal is that makes us get up the next day and keep working toward it.

This becomes much harder when you feel the pressure of other people eyes on you, judging you because you do not have the same values and goals they have. Stay true to your goals, what is important to you and reflects who you are. There may be people that do not agree, however, as you go through life you will also come across more and more people who do agree and support you in your success. It is not easy to find these people if you do not know who you are or what you are about.

Carousel Coaching
Clarity ~ Confidence ~ Connection